Every year around the first week after New Years, I find myself trying to come up with resolutions that are going to change everything. I'm going to become a new me, as if the old me wasn't good enough the year before.
What is forgotten in my negative thought spiral is at the end of a given year and even more so at the end of your life, we don’t reminisce about our resolutions, accomplishments, accolades, or awards. We remember moments. The moments that brought us the most joy. The times that bring the biggest a smile to your face when we reflect. Those rare occasions where we were so fully present having fun, that all we could think of was how grateful we were to be alive.
This past year, I’ve had many friends lose a loved one and whenever they reminisce about that person, what they recall are those memorable moments.
If those are the fun, joy, play moments that make life worth living, how come we don’t have a plan to experience more of those moments in the upcoming year, decade, and for the rest of our lives? Why not focus just a little more time on those, fun, joyful, play experiences that we will never forget?
So, last year, I created the Fun, Joy, Play Index, where you can take the opportunity to reflect on all those amazing, awe-inspiring, and playful experiences you had last year and plan to create more of those memories in the following year. I’ve continued the tradition and am even double downing on it, by trying it for an entire decade.
There are seven questions. Six reflect on the year that you just had, and one is to plan out the exciting adventures to come in 2020 and beyond.
Answer it with as much or as little detail as you like. Just have fun with it and enjoy what comes about. Here is a short video that explains the process.
I have provided my answers at the bottom of this email, if you want some additional inspiration.
1. What moments bring you happiness when you think about this past year?
2. When did you laugh the most and who were you with?
3. What day or moment made you smile the most?
4. What was your most awe-inspiring, surreal experience of this year? (If you can’t narrow it down to just one, go ahead and list more. Why limit yourself?)
5. What did you learn this year/decade that blew your mind?
6. What adventures did you go on this year/decade and what made them so much fun?
7. What FJP moments do you want to create in 2020 and the decade to come, and who can help make them happen?
Here are my answer for both the past year and the past decade:
1. What moments bring you happiness when you think about this past year?
2019: Speaking on stage even when it was terrifying, falling in love, and singing Christmas Carols with my family around my dad's grave
2010 - 2019: Discovering the Woo Woo/Self Development World and diving head first into their weirdness. Learning how resilient I was after a major failure.
2. When did you laugh the most and who were you with?
2019: While doing different made up voices for four hours in a bar based on a bet with WDSers
2010 - 2019: At Soul Camp with Merriliz and Lauren, where we laughed for one hour straight
3. What day or moment made you smile the most?
2019: Surprising the person I love with 12 separate days of Christmas
2010 - 2019: Being surrounded by all my dad's brothers and family, the day before we buried my father. Surrounded by that much love was powerful and humbling.
4. What was your most awe-inspiring, surreal experience of this year? (If you can’t narrow it down to just one, go ahead and list more. Why limit yourself?)
2019: Tie Between: Falling in love even though I didn't plan on it/Realizing how to hold multiple emotions at the same time (Being sad about missing my dad and also be incredibly grateful for him)
2010 - 2019: Being at Igauca Falls and realizing how small I am and that I only have a certain amount of time on this beautiful planet
5. What did you learn that blew your mind?
2019: Right after World War II, more Americans were enjoying leisure activities that didn't involve consumerism and thriving, until the "Golden Age of Capitalism" appeared in the early 1950's, which dramatically affected people's happiness, as they had to now "keep up with the joneses."
2010 - 2019: How most people do not care what others are doing because they are so focused on themselves, yet we are so worried about what people think of us...even though they are rarely thinking of us.
6. What adventures did you go on this year/decade and what made them so much fun?
2019: Doing the CAPP Positive Psychology Program and meeting amazing people there, World Domination Summit, where I spoke on stage even though I was terrified and also where I fell in love
2010 - 2019: Investing in coffee shop and losing it all, South Africa/Brazil for the World Cup, starting a brand new business, knowing the failures of the past.
7. What FJP moments do you want to create in 2020 & beyond, and who can help make them happen?
2020: Having an amazing experience speaking about play in Australia, SXSW, and other venues, going on mini-adventures with the people I love (St. Louis, New York, Florida, abroad), taking risks that both excite and terrify me
2020 Word: BOLD
2020 - BEYOND: Flipping status quo tables, finding the joyful sweet spot of doing pleasurable work and joyful relaxation, traveling the world being paid to speak