JEFF HARRY'S

POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY PLAYLIST

I believe that play is as important as breathing, sleeping, and love.  It's where so much of our happiness, fulfillment, and creativity comes from. 

JEFF HARRY

Welcome to the Positive Psychology Playlist!  

Inspired by the Flourishing Center's Certified Applied Positive Psychology Program, the goal is to gamify positive psychology modules, so you can incorporate them into your everyday life.  If you'd like to cultivate more of a certain aspect of positive psychology, click on the link below and try one of the play challenges.  Observe what occurs for you through the play.  Share your results with the Rediscover Your Play Tribe, tag @jeffharryplays on Instagram or Twitter.

 

It promises to be a fun, adventurous, and fulfilling ride.

 

Special Thanks To Louis Alloro and the CAPP.65 Los Angeles Cohort!    

Positivity Psychology

Breakdown of The Choice Map


The choice map provides you an opportunity to see whether you an embracing a challenge from a Judgemental or Learner approach. By simply catching the judger thoughts, you can help yourself avoid falling into a negative spiral that leads to the judger pit. Choice Map Inquiry Institute Marilee Adams, Ph D. Change Your Questions, Change Your Life Here is the breakdown of the judger path and questions vs. the learner path and questions: Judger Path: Focuses on what is wrong. React

  • Automatic Reactions
  • Blame Focused
  • Win/Lose Relating
  • Leads to the JUDGER PIT
Judger Questions* include:
  • What’s wrong with me?
  • Whose fault is it?
  • Why are they so stupid?
  • How can I prove that I’m right?
  • Haven’t we been there, done that?
  • Why bother?
Learner Path: Focuses on possibilities and growth. Choose
  • Thoughtful Choices
  • Solutions Focused
  • Win/Win Relating
  • Leads to the Learner Path
Learner Questions* include:
  • What do I want?
  • What works?
  • What are the facts and what can I learn? • What are my choices?
  • What action steps make sense?
  • What’s possible?




Choice Map Play Challenges


Print Out Choice Map INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • Catch the judger. Log all the judger thoughts that you have and when you see them, run the thought through the Choice Map Method. See how many judger thoughts you can run through the Choice Map in one day
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • Find a partner and for 48 hours, point out to each other whenever one verbalizes a judger thought
  • Help each other by running your thoughts through the Choice Map Method
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
  • For one week, log all of your judger thoughts that you notice and as you find them
    • Run each thought you catch through the Choice Map Method and observ what effect it has on you that week
  • At the end of the week, compare the number of judger thoughts you had at the beginning of the week to the end of the week





Find Your Inner Genius

Through Play

POSITIVITY 

Fixed Vs. Growth Mindset

Aspects of Fixed & Growth Mindset


Two Mindsets, Carol S. Dweck Ph.D

  • People with a fixed mindset believe their abilities are established and can’t change much regardless of how hard they try.
  • People with a growth mindset know that they can learn and grow if they invest enough effort.
  • Mindsets become self-fulfilling prophecies. If you think you can improve you will and vice versa
  • Mindsets are learned and can be changed.
Mindset, The New Psychology of Success, Carol S. Dweck Ph.D.




Fixed Vs. Growth Mindset Play Challenges


INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • For one day, observe every time you have a fixed mindset thought and log the ways in which that fixed mindset limits you
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • For one week, Ask your friends to point out places where you are have a fixed mindset and choose one that they will remind you of to work on
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
  • Pick one area where you have a fixed mindset. For one month, challenge yourself to devote time to change your perspective on that area to a growth mindset. Journal about your experience.





Choice Map

Breakdown of The Choice Map


The choice map provides you an opportunity to see whether you an embracing a challenge from a Judgemental or Learner approach. By simply catching the judger thoughts, you can help yourself avoid falling into a negative spiral that leads to the judger pit. Choice Map Inquiry Institute Marilee Adams, Ph D. Change Your Questions, Change Your Life Here is the breakdown of the judger path and questions vs. the learner path and questions: Judger Path: Focuses on what is wrong. React

  • Automatic Reactions
  • Blame Focused
  • Win/Lose Relating
  • Leads to the JUDGER PIT
Judger Questions* include:
  • What’s wrong with me?
  • Whose fault is it?
  • Why are they so stupid?
  • How can I prove that I’m right?
  • Haven’t we been there, done that?
  • Why bother?
Learner Path: Focuses on possibilities and growth. Choose
  • Thoughtful Choices
  • Solutions Focused
  • Win/Win Relating
  • Leads to the Learner Path
Learner Questions* include:
  • What do I want?
  • What works?
  • What are the facts and what can I learn? • What are my choices?
  • What action steps make sense?
  • What’s possible?




Choice Map Play Challenges


Print Out Choice Map INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • Catch the judger. Log all the judger thoughts that you have and when you see them, run the thought through the Choice Map Method. See how many judger thoughts you can run through the Choice Map in one day
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • Find a partner and for 48 hours, point out to each other whenever one verbalizes a judger thought
  • Help each other by running your thoughts through the Choice Map Method
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
  • For one week, log all of your judger thoughts that you notice and as you find them
    • Run each thought you catch through the Choice Map Method and observ what effect it has on you that week
  • At the end of the week, compare the number of judger thoughts you had at the beginning of the week to the end of the week





Luck

Purpose


Meaning vs. Purpose Research: George & Park (2013) sought to understand the difference between meaning and purpose. They found that they are distinctly different. A SCIENTIFIC GUIDE TO HUMAN FLOURISHING • Meaning: subjective experience of feeling that life fits into a larger context and has signifi-cance; it connotes a sense of comprehension and life as a whole makes sense. Purpose: an overall sense of goals and direction in life. However, they are strongly correlated. And they are both important! Purpose may be more vulnerable to adversity than meaning. Meaning positively correlates with Post-traumatic growth (a topic we’ll talk about later) and negatively correlates with post-traumatic deprecation (doing worse and struggling after trauma). • Purpose did not correlate with these factors but it did positively correlate with positive affect, optimism and life satisfaction. It negatively correlated with negative affect, pessimism and depression. What is Purpose? “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” RALPH WALDO EMERSON Purpose is: ”Stable and generalizable intention to accomplish something that is at once mean- ingful to the self and leads to productive engagement with some aspect of the world beyond the self.” (Damon, Menon & Bronk, 2003) Purpose is: “An intentional and cognitive sense of life, or determination to accomplish some end (social contribution). Purpose is both directional and other focused.” (Keyes, 2011) Purpose is: “Purpose is a central, self-organizing life-aim.” (McKnight & Kashdan, 2009) “Purpose is the active way you uniquely impact the world.”




Meaning Challenge


INDIVIDUAL PURPOSEFUL PLAY CHALLENGE Explore Your Play History To Find Answers To Your Purpose In order to identify how you want to play now, we must tap back into how you played as a child #1. List the ways you loved to play as a child & why you enjoyed playing that way Your Play Why You Enjoyed Playing In That Way #2. Are there ways you played as a child that can be linked to what you enjoy doing now? If so, how? Your Play As A Child (Ex. Playing Dress Up) Your Play Now (Ex. Costumes/Cos Play) How Are Your Past & Present Play Connected (Ex. Creating a persona with fabric & creativity) #3. What do you most love to do, where you can do it for long stretches of time without getting tired or bored? #4. Based on your answers to #2 & #3, what are some ways you can play now that get you excited? How can you incorporate them into your every day life? Action Item: Now try your answers to #4 for one month and see if you feel any difference PURPOSEFUL PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS Play Storming With Friends #1. Ask your closest friends to meet to figure out how they can help you play more • Tell them it is a play storm consulting session and you the client for the day
• Make it an event, providing whatever is necessary to loosen everyone up so they can be relaxed and comfortable enough to come up with creative ideas for you (I.e. Food, beverages, etc.) • Bring large post-its to write on and markers • Be sure to pick a scribe that isn’t you Rules for the Play Storm: • Have a scribe jot down the ideas on post-its, preferably one question per post it
• There are no wrong answers during the play storm, so whatever your friends share is posted • You are NOT allowed to interrupt • You are there to listen and ask questions
• If your friends give you love and appreciation, you must try to receive it, even if it feels awkward listening to all those kind words in a single sitting #2. Once everyone has gathered, is relaxed and comfortable, ask them to answer these questions of you: • What are the attributes that you most appreciate about me? (I.e. Creative, giving, etc.) • What are the times when you have seen me most happy?
• When you have you seen me most being myself?
• When was the last time you saw me play? • For your childhood friends, do you remember how most liked to play as a kid? #3. After all these questions have been answered, circle the attributes and the ways you most like to play from the post-its. Then, based on the One Risk Away Motto and answer this question below. One Risk Away Motto: You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it. - Benjamin Mee, We Bought A Zoo What are the adventures you have always wanted to do, but you have been too scared to try? (Ex. Getting lost abroad with just $10 in hand, diving with sharks, writing a novel, perform on stage, etc.) #4. On a final post-it, write down all the ways you want to play now, rank them, and ask your friends how they can help you make your top choices a reality?
Be as specific as possible. You want to travel to a specific destination in the next year. • Together you figure out how to all go, pick dates that day, and book the trip You only play with your kids, so your friends identify a Parent’s Night Out every month If the play brainstorm works, decide who you will do the next play storm for.





ENGAGEMENT

Savor

Finding A State of Flow


Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Father of Flow What is Flow?

  • State of intense absorption: “In the zone.”
  • Feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity
  • “A psychological state that accompanies highly engaging activities.”
Frequent Flow correlates with:
  • Life satisfaction
  • Achievement
  • Better health
  • Creativity
Components of Flow:
  • The task is challenging and requires skill
  • We concentrate
  • There are clear goals
  • We get immediate (an unambiguous) feedback
  • There is a sense of control
    • A balance between skill and challenge
    • Mental focus or strenuous exercise
    • Intrinsic Motivation
Flow State Triggers: Steven Kotler, The Rise of Superman: Decoding the Science of Ultimate Human Performance Psychological triggers
  • Goal clarity
  • Immediate feedback
  • Challenge to skills ratio
  • Intense concentration
Environmental triggers
  • High consequences
  • Rich environments
  • Deep embodiment
Social triggers
  • Serious concentration
  • Clear, shared goals
  • Good communication
  • Familiarity
  • Equal participation and skill level
  • Risk
  • Sense of control
  • Close listening
  • Always say yes
Creative triggers
  • Creativity




Flow Play Challenges


In order to find our flow, we must create the conditions for a flow state to occur. INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • Journal about your Ikigai/Zone of Genius
    • Ask these questions (From The Book: The Big Leap By Gay Hendricks)
    • WHAT DO I MOST LOVE TO DO?
      • I love so much I can do it for long stretches of time without getting tired or bored
    • WHAT WORK DO I DO THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE WORK?
      • I can do it all day long without ever feeling tired or bored
    • IN MY WORK, WHAT PRODUCES THE HIGHEST RATIO OF ABUNDANCE AND SATISFACTION TO AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT?
      • Even if I do only ten seconds or a few minutes of it, an idea or a deeper connection may spring forth that leads to huge value
      • Whatever it is, find it and I want you to put the highest priority on doing some of it every day
    • WHAT IS MY UNIQUE ABILITY?
    • There is a special skill I’m gifted with
      • This unique ability, fully realized and put to work can provide enormous benefits to me and any organization I serve
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • Ask your friends the following questions:
    • When have you seen me most alive?
    • When have you seen me the happiest?
    • What is one ability that I have that makes me truly unique?
    • What is one way in which I can contribute to the world that could have a tremendous impact?
  • Based on the answers to these questions, determine if there is a unifying thread between the answers and if so, come up with a plan to pursue that flow experience
    • Example: Your friends share that you are an amazing writer, so you decide how you are going to devote X amount of time per week on writing or you'll choose to attend a writing retreat
  • OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
    • For one month, once you identify your Ikigai/Zone of Genius/Flow State, you commit to devoting a certain number of hours a day attempting to cultivate this state/experience
      • Each day, log your progress on tapping into this flow state as well as your happiness/fulfillment levels after each day, as they may fluctuate
      • By the end of the month, share with your friends what you have been able to create and/or cultivate and how you feel about the entire process
      • Take a risk to trust the universe and do whatever is necessary, regardless of how absurd or silly it may be, in order to tap into this flow state
        • You find that you write better after dancing by yourself, do it
        • You like to wear silly outfits because it puts you in a creative mindset, do it
        • You find skipping to bring you more happiness than simply walking, do it





Flow

Finding A State of Flow


Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Father of Flow What is Flow?

  • State of intense absorption: “In the zone.”
  • Feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity
  • “A psychological state that accompanies highly engaging activities.”
Frequent Flow correlates with:
  • Life satisfaction
  • Achievement
  • Better health
  • Creativity
Components of Flow:
  • The task is challenging and requires skill
  • We concentrate
  • There are clear goals
  • We get immediate (an unambiguous) feedback
  • There is a sense of control
    • A balance between skill and challenge
    • Mental focus or strenuous exercise
    • Intrinsic Motivation
Flow State Triggers: Steven Kotler, The Rise of Superman: Decoding the Science of Ultimate Human Performance Psychological triggers
  • Goal clarity
  • Immediate feedback
  • Challenge to skills ratio
  • Intense concentration
Environmental triggers
  • High consequences
  • Rich environments
  • Deep embodiment
Social triggers
  • Serious concentration
  • Clear, shared goals
  • Good communication
  • Familiarity
  • Equal participation and skill level
  • Risk
  • Sense of control
  • Close listening
  • Always say yes
Creative triggers
  • Creativity




Flow Play Challenges


In order to find our flow, we must create the conditions for a flow state to occur. INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • Journal about your Ikigai/Zone of Genius
    • Ask these questions (From The Book: The Big Leap By Gay Hendricks)
    • WHAT DO I MOST LOVE TO DO?
      • I love so much I can do it for long stretches of time without getting tired or bored
    • WHAT WORK DO I DO THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE WORK?
      • I can do it all day long without ever feeling tired or bored
    • IN MY WORK, WHAT PRODUCES THE HIGHEST RATIO OF ABUNDANCE AND SATISFACTION TO AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT?
      • Even if I do only ten seconds or a few minutes of it, an idea or a deeper connection may spring forth that leads to huge value
      • Whatever it is, find it and I want you to put the highest priority on doing some of it every day
    • WHAT IS MY UNIQUE ABILITY?
    • There is a special skill I’m gifted with
      • This unique ability, fully realized and put to work can provide enormous benefits to me and any organization I serve
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • Ask your friends the following questions:
    • When have you seen me most alive?
    • When have you seen me the happiest?
    • What is one ability that I have that makes me truly unique?
    • What is one way in which I can contribute to the world that could have a tremendous impact?
  • Based on the answers to these questions, determine if there is a unifying thread between the answers and if so, come up with a plan to pursue that flow experience
    • Example: Your friends share that you are an amazing writer, so you decide how you are going to devote X amount of time per week on writing or you'll choose to attend a writing retreat
  • OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
    • For one month, once you identify your Ikigai/Zone of Genius/Flow State, you commit to devoting a certain number of hours a day attempting to cultivate this state/experience
      • Each day, log your progress on tapping into this flow state as well as your happiness/fulfillment levels after each day, as they may fluctuate
      • By the end of the month, share with your friends what you have been able to create and/or cultivate and how you feel about the entire process
      • Take a risk to trust the universe and do whatever is necessary, regardless of how absurd or silly it may be, in order to tap into this flow state
        • You find that you write better after dancing by yourself, do it
        • You like to wear silly outfits because it puts you in a creative mindset, do it
        • You find skipping to bring you more happiness than simply walking, do it





RELATIONSHIPS

Love

Finding A State of Flow


Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Father of Flow What is Flow?

  • State of intense absorption: “In the zone.”
  • Feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity
  • “A psychological state that accompanies highly engaging activities.”
Frequent Flow correlates with:
  • Life satisfaction
  • Achievement
  • Better health
  • Creativity
Components of Flow:
  • The task is challenging and requires skill
  • We concentrate
  • There are clear goals
  • We get immediate (an unambiguous) feedback
  • There is a sense of control
    • A balance between skill and challenge
    • Mental focus or strenuous exercise
    • Intrinsic Motivation
Flow State Triggers: Steven Kotler, The Rise of Superman: Decoding the Science of Ultimate Human Performance Psychological triggers
  • Goal clarity
  • Immediate feedback
  • Challenge to skills ratio
  • Intense concentration
Environmental triggers
  • High consequences
  • Rich environments
  • Deep embodiment
Social triggers
  • Serious concentration
  • Clear, shared goals
  • Good communication
  • Familiarity
  • Equal participation and skill level
  • Risk
  • Sense of control
  • Close listening
  • Always say yes
Creative triggers
  • Creativity




Flow Play Challenges


In order to find our flow, we must create the conditions for a flow state to occur. INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • Journal about your Ikigai/Zone of Genius
    • Ask these questions (From The Book: The Big Leap By Gay Hendricks)
    • WHAT DO I MOST LOVE TO DO?
      • I love so much I can do it for long stretches of time without getting tired or bored
    • WHAT WORK DO I DO THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE WORK?
      • I can do it all day long without ever feeling tired or bored
    • IN MY WORK, WHAT PRODUCES THE HIGHEST RATIO OF ABUNDANCE AND SATISFACTION TO AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT?
      • Even if I do only ten seconds or a few minutes of it, an idea or a deeper connection may spring forth that leads to huge value
      • Whatever it is, find it and I want you to put the highest priority on doing some of it every day
    • WHAT IS MY UNIQUE ABILITY?
    • There is a special skill I’m gifted with
      • This unique ability, fully realized and put to work can provide enormous benefits to me and any organization I serve
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • Ask your friends the following questions:
    • When have you seen me most alive?
    • When have you seen me the happiest?
    • What is one ability that I have that makes me truly unique?
    • What is one way in which I can contribute to the world that could have a tremendous impact?
  • Based on the answers to these questions, determine if there is a unifying thread between the answers and if so, come up with a plan to pursue that flow experience
    • Example: Your friends share that you are an amazing writer, so you decide how you are going to devote X amount of time per week on writing or you'll choose to attend a writing retreat
  • OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
    • For one month, once you identify your Ikigai/Zone of Genius/Flow State, you commit to devoting a certain number of hours a day attempting to cultivate this state/experience
      • Each day, log your progress on tapping into this flow state as well as your happiness/fulfillment levels after each day, as they may fluctuate
      • By the end of the month, share with your friends what you have been able to create and/or cultivate and how you feel about the entire process
      • Take a risk to trust the universe and do whatever is necessary, regardless of how absurd or silly it may be, in order to tap into this flow state
        • You find that you write better after dancing by yourself, do it
        • You like to wear silly outfits because it puts you in a creative mindset, do it
        • You find skipping to bring you more happiness than simply walking, do it





MEANING

Purpose

What are VIA Character Strengths


Via Character Strengths "Every individual possesses all 24 character strengths in different degrees, giving each person a unique character profile." List of Via Character Strengths From: http://www.viacharacter.org/www/Character-Strengths Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence

  • You notice and enjoy beauty in many places (nature, art, music, etc.).
  • You notice and enjoy watching people who are talented or very skilled at what they do.
Integrity
  • You speak the truth.
  • You allow others to see the “real you”.
  • You are true to yourself.
  • You take responsibility for what you do and say.
Bravery
  • You do not avoid challenges or difficult situations.
  • You speak up for what you think is right, even if others disagree with you.
Creativity
  • You think of new and original ways of doing things.
Curiosity
  • You are interested in many things.
  • You like to explore and discover new things.
Fairness
  • You give everyone a fair chance.
  • You treat others in a fair and just way.
Forgiveness/Mercy
  • You forgive those who have done wrong.
  • You give people a second chance.
  • You do not seek revenge against those who have wronged you.
Gratitude
  • You notice and appreciate the good things that happen.
  • You take the time to express thanks to those you who do nice things for you.
Hope
  • You expect good things to happen in the future. You work to make good things happen.
Humor
  • You like to laugh and make jokes.
  • You like to bring a smile to people’s faces. You see humour in many situations.
Kindness
  • You enjoy doing favours and helping others. You enjoy taking care of other people.
Leadership
  • You like to work with others and help them to get things done. You like to organize group activities and see that they happen.
Love
  • You like being close to other people. You like to give love to others.
  • You like receiving love from others.
Love of Learning
  • You enjoy learning new information. You enjoy learning how to do things.
Modestly/Humility
  • You do not like to draw attention to yourself.
  • You let your accomplishments speak for themselves (rather than pointing them out). You do not view yourself as better than others.
Open Mindedness
  • You like to think things through before making a decision.
  • You look at all “sides” of a situation.
  • You are able to change your mind (if there is a good reason to do so). You listen to other people’s ideas.
Perspective
  • You are able to give other people good advice. You are able to see the “big picture”.
Persistence
  • You finish what you start.
  • You find ways to overcome obstacles. You enjoy completing tasks.
Prudence
  • You are careful in making decisions.
  • You avoid taking unnecessary risks.
  • You avoid doing or saying things that you later regret.
Spirituality
  • You believe that you are part of a larger plan or purpose.
  • You believe that your life has meaning/purpose.
  • Your beliefs about life’s meaning/purpose give you comfort and help to guide your actions.
Self-Control
  • You avoid “overdoing” things (losing your temper, eating too much, etc.).
  • You are able to keep things balanced in your life.
Social Intelligence
  • You know what to do to get along with different groups of people.
  • You know what makes other people “tick”; you know why they do what they do. You are aware of other people’s thoughts and feelings.
Teamwork
  • You work well as a member of a group or team.
  • You always do your share of the work in a team or group. You are loyal to the groups or teams to which you belong.
Zest
  • You do what you do with energy and excitement. You view life as an adventure.




VIA Character Strength Play Challenges


Take The VIA Character Strengths Survey Once you identify what your VIA Character Strengths are, determine if you'd like to focus more on your strengths or on areas of improvement. Choose a play challenges for a character strength you want to focus on. There is currently on one play challenge per character strength. More nuanced play challenges will be added in the future for this section. 1) Creativity

  • If you are trying to tackle a problem, instead of talking it out or making a pro and con list, draw the solution. Sketch out the solution.
Group Setting
  • If you want to spark creativity, choose a challenge your working with and come up with 7 different solutions to the problem from the absurd to the mundane
  • Create something by hand that you will give as a gift to someone. You can choose the medium.
    • Make it in finite amount of time and don’t judge yourself throughout it.
2) Curiosity
  • Next time you are outside at a restaurant or in a public setting, put away your phone when you get bored and instead, take some time to simply observe what is happening around you.
  • Take 5 minutes to notice the surroundings, the people, and see how that makes you feel.
  • Go a day simply by asking question and try to avoid making statement.
    • Try to learn as much about people in a given day and measure it against your regular day.
3) Judgment (critical thinking)
  • Gather your friends together and have a viewing party of a show that may disagree with you.
    • The goal will be to find where there is common ground.
  • Go one step further and invite people of different political persuasions together and see if you can find more in common with each other than what separates you.
  • Write down all the judgments you have on people, including yourself in a given day.
    • Watch if those critiques change as you noticed more of them.
4) Love of learning
  • Choose to learn one new skill in 30 days and see how far it takes you
  • If you have a love of a specific subject, ask your friends who they know is an expert in that field and meet with that person.
    • Learn as much as you can from them in one setting and take their suggestions on how to learn more.
5) Perspective (wisdom)
  • Pick a hero of yours and for that day, make decisions the way you think they would
  • Step into someone else’s shoes.
    • Find a friend or a colleague who is willing to have you shadow them for a certain amount of hours and they explain what they experience and see in a given day.
6) Bravery (courage)
  • Take on Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule and when you are scared to do something that you also really want to do (I.e. Hop on a dance floor, get on stage, speak to someone that you are intimidated by), countdown from 5 seconds and get up and do it
  • Make a list of your biggest the goals that most excite and scare you.
    • Share them with a friend and pick one that you’d like to work on.
7) Perseverance
  • Pick a challenge that you have failed at in the past and attempt it again and fail.
    • Continue to try and fail and just notice how many times you are willing to try again and again.
  • List all of the times that you have persevered, find the pattern, and choose a project that you want to take on that is similar to what you’ve accomplished in the past.
8) Honesty
  • Write down thoughts about people that you have been wanting to say, but have been holding back from saying for a really long time.
    • Pick two people to share those thoughts with.
  • Share with a friend something about yourself that barely anyone knows that you might have some embarrassment around.
    • See how it feels when you are able to let this go.
9) Zest
  • One Risk Away
    • Do something ridiculous that both excites you and makes you a little nervous. 20 seconds of insane courage
  • Play With What You Love
    • Gather your closest friends together or just hop on a call with one of them and ask them:
      • When have you seen me most happy?
      • When was the last time you saw me play?
    • From those answers, figure out with them, how you can cultivate similar adventures now
  • Find Your Zesty Tribe
    • Surround yourself with people that are also pursuing their zest
    • Attend classes, retreats, conferences, gatherings that are of people that have similar core values and see where these adventures take you
  • Make Mundane Tasks Zesty
    • Take a boring task and see if you can bring some fun to it. Examples:
      • Washing Dishes - See how many dishes you can wash well with as little water as possible
      • Walking - On a regular walk you do, see if you can observe anything different about this adventure. See if you can discover something new
      • Social Interaction - Try to see if you can find one interesting fact about the person you are talking to or if that seems too challenging, try to incorporate movie lines into conversation
      • Work Email - In a 5 minute challenge, see how many emails you can archive that don’t need your response so your inbox seems less daunting
10) Love
  • Call or text someone that you really appreciate and love that you have told in a while and see how that feels.
  • Write a letter of appreciation to yourself and what you like about yourself.
    • If you want, give the letter to a friend to mail back to you within 3 - 6 months, when you really need to read it.
  • Write a letter of appreciation to someone you care about.
    • See how it feels to simply write the letter.
11) Kindness
  • Write down all the kind thoughts you have about yourself in a given day.
    • If you don’t have any, start giving yourself some and see how your day changes
  • Choose to do a number of kind things in a given day (pay parking meters, open doors, give a compliment),
    • Count the number of things, and measure how you feel at the end of the day
12) Social intelligence:
  • Challenge yourself to have conversations with 3 - 5 new people in a given day
    • Spark a conversation with a stranger, speak to a colleague or a friend that you have not connected with in quite some time, reach out to someone who typically intimidates you when you speak to them and see if you can vibrant, engaging conversation
  • During the day, find someone who really seems like they need a connection and reach out
    • Observe what effect it has on you and the individual you connected with
  • For a conversation that you have been avoiding, choose to have a Crucial Conversation with a person, adopting some of the techniques from the Crucial Conversation Method, popularized by the book, Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High
13) Teamwork
  • Take the time to thank a team for all their hard work on a recent project.
    • If you could give them a bigger shout out to their superior, even better.
  • If you have a team, have them go around and express one thing that they appreciate about the team to start your next meeting.
14) Fairness
  • Look for inequity in your office space and figure out with your staff how to address it
  • Take some time to look at who is being neglected or excluded either in an office setting or with your friends and determine how you can make it right
15) Leadership
  • Give one of your team members an opportunity to step up and take on a leadership role in a project that you usually lead
  • Choose to take the lead on a project that is really important to you and ask others to follow
16) Forgiveness
  • Make a list of people that you have a grudge against and why.
  • Choose 2 people on the list that you are willing to forgive and reach out to them.
    • If you cannot get in touch with them anymore of they have passed away, still write a letter forgiving them.
  • Pick something that you have been really feeling guilty about and give yourself permission to forgive yourself.
    • If you need to, write a letter that communicates this.
17) Humility
  • For meetings for an entire day, choose to spend more time listening and talking
    • Do this with a majority of your interactions for a given day and notice how that feels differently
  • Gather a few people that you really trust and ask for honest feedback in what ways you can improve either as a friend or coworker
18) Prudence
  • Before you make a decision that is typically very easy, take one full minute to think about it before you take action
    • Write down your plans for each hour of the remainder of the day, no matter how trivial
19) Self-regulation
  • The next time you feel irritated or nervous today, pause and breathe with the experience for a count of 10 breathes.
  • Monitor all the food and drinks you put in your body.
    • Write it down on a tracking sheet.
20) Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence
  • Think of someone that you admire very much and appreciate with awe all the aspects of that individual that makes them so special
    • If you know that person directly, reach out to them and share how much you appreciate them
  • Think about the last time you really appreciated your environment (I.e. On the beach, in the forest, on a busy street) and go back to that area and sit silently for 30 minutes simply connecting with that space
21) Gratitude
  • At the start of your day, text, call, or email 2 people (I.e. friend, family member, colleague, client, etc.) per day for a week, expressing why you grateful to have them in your life
    • Observe whether you see any difference in how your week is because of this action
22) Hope
  • Think about the last time you were hopeful and something amazing came from it
  • Write down and share what your hopes are for the future for yourself with multiple friends
    • Observe how you feel about the future after sharing your hopes and dreams with others
  • Pick a challenge that you are currently struggling with and identify realisitic, positive thoughts around this challenge that give you hope
23) Humor
  • Try to incorporate your favorite movie lines into your next conversation with someone
  • Find an area where many people are taking themselves way too seriously and choose to do the opposite
  • Spend time identifying the absurd and celebrating it
24) Spirituality
  • If you are spiritual, write down what it is that you appreciate about your faith and practice, and how it provides you meaning and purpose
  • If you attend a Spiritual Service or gathering, take the lesson or message you heard and apply it through action (not simply words) for 24 hours to see what effect it has
    • Example: If the message is "Love Thy Neighbor" then identify how you would actually do this (I.e. Check in and help out a neighbor that you rarely connect with)
  • Attend a spiritual service or gathering of a faith that is not of your own and see what you can appreciate about it





ACHIEVEMENT

Visualization

Breakdown of The Choice Map


The choice map provides you an opportunity to see whether you an embracing a challenge from a Judgemental or Learner approach. By simply catching the judger thoughts, you can help yourself avoid falling into a negative spiral that leads to the judger pit. Choice Map Inquiry Institute Marilee Adams, Ph D. Change Your Questions, Change Your Life Here is the breakdown of the judger path and questions vs. the learner path and questions: Judger Path: Focuses on what is wrong. React

  • Automatic Reactions
  • Blame Focused
  • Win/Lose Relating
  • Leads to the JUDGER PIT
Judger Questions* include:
  • What’s wrong with me?
  • Whose fault is it?
  • Why are they so stupid?
  • How can I prove that I’m right?
  • Haven’t we been there, done that?
  • Why bother?
Learner Path: Focuses on possibilities and growth. Choose
  • Thoughtful Choices
  • Solutions Focused
  • Win/Win Relating
  • Leads to the Learner Path
Learner Questions* include:
  • What do I want?
  • What works?
  • What are the facts and what can I learn? • What are my choices?
  • What action steps make sense?
  • What’s possible?




Choice Map Play Challenges


Print Out Choice Map INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • Catch the judger. Log all the judger thoughts that you have and when you see them, run the thought through the Choice Map Method. See how many judger thoughts you can run through the Choice Map in one day
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • Find a partner and for 48 hours, point out to each other whenever one verbalizes a judger thought
  • Help each other by running your thoughts through the Choice Map Method
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
  • For one week, log all of your judger thoughts that you notice and as you find them
    • Run each thought you catch through the Choice Map Method and observ what effect it has on you that week
  • At the end of the week, compare the number of judger thoughts you had at the beginning of the week to the end of the week





VITALITY

Physical Activity

Finding A State of Flow


Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Father of Flow What is Flow?

  • State of intense absorption: “In the zone.”
  • Feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity
  • “A psychological state that accompanies highly engaging activities.”
Frequent Flow correlates with:
  • Life satisfaction
  • Achievement
  • Better health
  • Creativity
Components of Flow:
  • The task is challenging and requires skill
  • We concentrate
  • There are clear goals
  • We get immediate (an unambiguous) feedback
  • There is a sense of control
    • A balance between skill and challenge
    • Mental focus or strenuous exercise
    • Intrinsic Motivation
Flow State Triggers: Steven Kotler, The Rise of Superman: Decoding the Science of Ultimate Human Performance Psychological triggers
  • Goal clarity
  • Immediate feedback
  • Challenge to skills ratio
  • Intense concentration
Environmental triggers
  • High consequences
  • Rich environments
  • Deep embodiment
Social triggers
  • Serious concentration
  • Clear, shared goals
  • Good communication
  • Familiarity
  • Equal participation and skill level
  • Risk
  • Sense of control
  • Close listening
  • Always say yes
Creative triggers
  • Creativity




Flow Play Challenges


In order to find our flow, we must create the conditions for a flow state to occur. INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • Journal about your Ikigai/Zone of Genius
    • Ask these questions (From The Book: The Big Leap By Gay Hendricks)
    • WHAT DO I MOST LOVE TO DO?
      • I love so much I can do it for long stretches of time without getting tired or bored
    • WHAT WORK DO I DO THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE WORK?
      • I can do it all day long without ever feeling tired or bored
    • IN MY WORK, WHAT PRODUCES THE HIGHEST RATIO OF ABUNDANCE AND SATISFACTION TO AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT?
      • Even if I do only ten seconds or a few minutes of it, an idea or a deeper connection may spring forth that leads to huge value
      • Whatever it is, find it and I want you to put the highest priority on doing some of it every day
    • WHAT IS MY UNIQUE ABILITY?
    • There is a special skill I’m gifted with
      • This unique ability, fully realized and put to work can provide enormous benefits to me and any organization I serve
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • Ask your friends the following questions:
    • When have you seen me most alive?
    • When have you seen me the happiest?
    • What is one ability that I have that makes me truly unique?
    • What is one way in which I can contribute to the world that could have a tremendous impact?
  • Based on the answers to these questions, determine if there is a unifying thread between the answers and if so, come up with a plan to pursue that flow experience
    • Example: Your friends share that you are an amazing writer, so you decide how you are going to devote X amount of time per week on writing or you'll choose to attend a writing retreat
  • OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
    • For one month, once you identify your Ikigai/Zone of Genius/Flow State, you commit to devoting a certain number of hours a day attempting to cultivate this state/experience
      • Each day, log your progress on tapping into this flow state as well as your happiness/fulfillment levels after each day, as they may fluctuate
      • By the end of the month, share with your friends what you have been able to create and/or cultivate and how you feel about the entire process
      • Take a risk to trust the universe and do whatever is necessary, regardless of how absurd or silly it may be, in order to tap into this flow state
        • You find that you write better after dancing by yourself, do it
        • You like to wear silly outfits because it puts you in a creative mindset, do it
        • You find skipping to bring you more happiness than simply walking, do it





VIA Strengths

What are VIA Character Strengths


Via Character Strengths "Every individual possesses all 24 character strengths in different degrees, giving each person a unique character profile." List of Via Character Strengths From: http://www.viacharacter.org/www/Character-Strengths Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence

  • You notice and enjoy beauty in many places (nature, art, music, etc.).
  • You notice and enjoy watching people who are talented or very skilled at what they do.
Integrity
  • You speak the truth.
  • You allow others to see the “real you”.
  • You are true to yourself.
  • You take responsibility for what you do and say.
Bravery
  • You do not avoid challenges or difficult situations.
  • You speak up for what you think is right, even if others disagree with you.
Creativity
  • You think of new and original ways of doing things.
Curiosity
  • You are interested in many things.
  • You like to explore and discover new things.
Fairness
  • You give everyone a fair chance.
  • You treat others in a fair and just way.
Forgiveness/Mercy
  • You forgive those who have done wrong.
  • You give people a second chance.
  • You do not seek revenge against those who have wronged you.
Gratitude
  • You notice and appreciate the good things that happen.
  • You take the time to express thanks to those you who do nice things for you.
Hope
  • You expect good things to happen in the future. You work to make good things happen.
Humor
  • You like to laugh and make jokes.
  • You like to bring a smile to people’s faces. You see humour in many situations.
Kindness
  • You enjoy doing favours and helping others. You enjoy taking care of other people.
Leadership
  • You like to work with others and help them to get things done. You like to organize group activities and see that they happen.
Love
  • You like being close to other people. You like to give love to others.
  • You like receiving love from others.
Love of Learning
  • You enjoy learning new information. You enjoy learning how to do things.
Modestly/Humility
  • You do not like to draw attention to yourself.
  • You let your accomplishments speak for themselves (rather than pointing them out). You do not view yourself as better than others.
Open Mindedness
  • You like to think things through before making a decision.
  • You look at all “sides” of a situation.
  • You are able to change your mind (if there is a good reason to do so). You listen to other people’s ideas.
Perspective
  • You are able to give other people good advice. You are able to see the “big picture”.
Persistence
  • You finish what you start.
  • You find ways to overcome obstacles. You enjoy completing tasks.
Prudence
  • You are careful in making decisions.
  • You avoid taking unnecessary risks.
  • You avoid doing or saying things that you later regret.
Spirituality
  • You believe that you are part of a larger plan or purpose.
  • You believe that your life has meaning/purpose.
  • Your beliefs about life’s meaning/purpose give you comfort and help to guide your actions.
Self-Control
  • You avoid “overdoing” things (losing your temper, eating too much, etc.).
  • You are able to keep things balanced in your life.
Social Intelligence
  • You know what to do to get along with different groups of people.
  • You know what makes other people “tick”; you know why they do what they do. You are aware of other people’s thoughts and feelings.
Teamwork
  • You work well as a member of a group or team.
  • You always do your share of the work in a team or group. You are loyal to the groups or teams to which you belong.
Zest
  • You do what you do with energy and excitement. You view life as an adventure.




VIA Character Strength Play Challenges


Take The VIA Character Strengths Survey Once you identify what your VIA Character Strengths are, determine if you'd like to focus more on your strengths or on areas of improvement. Choose a play challenges for a character strength you want to focus on. There is currently on one play challenge per character strength. More nuanced play challenges will be added in the future for this section. 1) Creativity

  • If you are trying to tackle a problem, instead of talking it out or making a pro and con list, draw the solution. Sketch out the solution.
Group Setting
  • If you want to spark creativity, choose a challenge your working with and come up with 7 different solutions to the problem from the absurd to the mundane
  • Create something by hand that you will give as a gift to someone. You can choose the medium.
    • Make it in finite amount of time and don’t judge yourself throughout it.
2) Curiosity
  • Next time you are outside at a restaurant or in a public setting, put away your phone when you get bored and instead, take some time to simply observe what is happening around you.
  • Take 5 minutes to notice the surroundings, the people, and see how that makes you feel.
  • Go a day simply by asking question and try to avoid making statement.
    • Try to learn as much about people in a given day and measure it against your regular day.
3) Judgment (critical thinking)
  • Gather your friends together and have a viewing party of a show that may disagree with you.
    • The goal will be to find where there is common ground.
  • Go one step further and invite people of different political persuasions together and see if you can find more in common with each other than what separates you.
  • Write down all the judgments you have on people, including yourself in a given day.
    • Watch if those critiques change as you noticed more of them.
4) Love of learning
  • Choose to learn one new skill in 30 days and see how far it takes you
  • If you have a love of a specific subject, ask your friends who they know is an expert in that field and meet with that person.
    • Learn as much as you can from them in one setting and take their suggestions on how to learn more.
5) Perspective (wisdom)
  • Pick a hero of yours and for that day, make decisions the way you think they would
  • Step into someone else’s shoes.
    • Find a friend or a colleague who is willing to have you shadow them for a certain amount of hours and they explain what they experience and see in a given day.
6) Bravery (courage)
  • Take on Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule and when you are scared to do something that you also really want to do (I.e. Hop on a dance floor, get on stage, speak to someone that you are intimidated by), countdown from 5 seconds and get up and do it
  • Make a list of your biggest the goals that most excite and scare you.
    • Share them with a friend and pick one that you’d like to work on.
7) Perseverance
  • Pick a challenge that you have failed at in the past and attempt it again and fail.
    • Continue to try and fail and just notice how many times you are willing to try again and again.
  • List all of the times that you have persevered, find the pattern, and choose a project that you want to take on that is similar to what you’ve accomplished in the past.
8) Honesty
  • Write down thoughts about people that you have been wanting to say, but have been holding back from saying for a really long time.
    • Pick two people to share those thoughts with.
  • Share with a friend something about yourself that barely anyone knows that you might have some embarrassment around.
    • See how it feels when you are able to let this go.
9) Zest
  • One Risk Away
    • Do something ridiculous that both excites you and makes you a little nervous. 20 seconds of insane courage
  • Play With What You Love
    • Gather your closest friends together or just hop on a call with one of them and ask them:
      • When have you seen me most happy?
      • When was the last time you saw me play?
    • From those answers, figure out with them, how you can cultivate similar adventures now
  • Find Your Zesty Tribe
    • Surround yourself with people that are also pursuing their zest
    • Attend classes, retreats, conferences, gatherings that are of people that have similar core values and see where these adventures take you
  • Make Mundane Tasks Zesty
    • Take a boring task and see if you can bring some fun to it. Examples:
      • Washing Dishes - See how many dishes you can wash well with as little water as possible
      • Walking - On a regular walk you do, see if you can observe anything different about this adventure. See if you can discover something new
      • Social Interaction - Try to see if you can find one interesting fact about the person you are talking to or if that seems too challenging, try to incorporate movie lines into conversation
      • Work Email - In a 5 minute challenge, see how many emails you can archive that don’t need your response so your inbox seems less daunting
10) Love
  • Call or text someone that you really appreciate and love that you have told in a while and see how that feels.
  • Write a letter of appreciation to yourself and what you like about yourself.
    • If you want, give the letter to a friend to mail back to you within 3 - 6 months, when you really need to read it.
  • Write a letter of appreciation to someone you care about.
    • See how it feels to simply write the letter.
11) Kindness
  • Write down all the kind thoughts you have about yourself in a given day.
    • If you don’t have any, start giving yourself some and see how your day changes
  • Choose to do a number of kind things in a given day (pay parking meters, open doors, give a compliment),
    • Count the number of things, and measure how you feel at the end of the day
12) Social intelligence:
  • Challenge yourself to have conversations with 3 - 5 new people in a given day
    • Spark a conversation with a stranger, speak to a colleague or a friend that you have not connected with in quite some time, reach out to someone who typically intimidates you when you speak to them and see if you can vibrant, engaging conversation
  • During the day, find someone who really seems like they need a connection and reach out
    • Observe what effect it has on you and the individual you connected with
  • For a conversation that you have been avoiding, choose to have a Crucial Conversation with a person, adopting some of the techniques from the Crucial Conversation Method, popularized by the book, Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High
13) Teamwork
  • Take the time to thank a team for all their hard work on a recent project.
    • If you could give them a bigger shout out to their superior, even better.
  • If you have a team, have them go around and express one thing that they appreciate about the team to start your next meeting.
14) Fairness
  • Look for inequity in your office space and figure out with your staff how to address it
  • Take some time to look at who is being neglected or excluded either in an office setting or with your friends and determine how you can make it right
15) Leadership
  • Give one of your team members an opportunity to step up and take on a leadership role in a project that you usually lead
  • Choose to take the lead on a project that is really important to you and ask others to follow
16) Forgiveness
  • Make a list of people that you have a grudge against and why.
  • Choose 2 people on the list that you are willing to forgive and reach out to them.
    • If you cannot get in touch with them anymore of they have passed away, still write a letter forgiving them.
  • Pick something that you have been really feeling guilty about and give yourself permission to forgive yourself.
    • If you need to, write a letter that communicates this.
17) Humility
  • For meetings for an entire day, choose to spend more time listening and talking
    • Do this with a majority of your interactions for a given day and notice how that feels differently
  • Gather a few people that you really trust and ask for honest feedback in what ways you can improve either as a friend or coworker
18) Prudence
  • Before you make a decision that is typically very easy, take one full minute to think about it before you take action
    • Write down your plans for each hour of the remainder of the day, no matter how trivial
19) Self-regulation
  • The next time you feel irritated or nervous today, pause and breathe with the experience for a count of 10 breathes.
  • Monitor all the food and drinks you put in your body.
    • Write it down on a tracking sheet.
20) Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence
  • Think of someone that you admire very much and appreciate with awe all the aspects of that individual that makes them so special
    • If you know that person directly, reach out to them and share how much you appreciate them
  • Think about the last time you really appreciated your environment (I.e. On the beach, in the forest, on a busy street) and go back to that area and sit silently for 30 minutes simply connecting with that space
21) Gratitude
  • At the start of your day, text, call, or email 2 people (I.e. friend, family member, colleague, client, etc.) per day for a week, expressing why you grateful to have them in your life
    • Observe whether you see any difference in how your week is because of this action
22) Hope
  • Think about the last time you were hopeful and something amazing came from it
  • Write down and share what your hopes are for the future for yourself with multiple friends
    • Observe how you feel about the future after sharing your hopes and dreams with others
  • Pick a challenge that you are currently struggling with and identify realisitic, positive thoughts around this challenge that give you hope
23) Humor
  • Try to incorporate your favorite movie lines into your next conversation with someone
  • Find an area where many people are taking themselves way too seriously and choose to do the opposite
  • Spend time identifying the absurd and celebrating it
24) Spirituality
  • If you are spiritual, write down what it is that you appreciate about your faith and practice, and how it provides you meaning and purpose
  • If you attend a Spiritual Service or gathering, take the lesson or message you heard and apply it through action (not simply words) for 24 hours to see what effect it has
    • Example: If the message is "Love Thy Neighbor" then identify how you would actually do this (I.e. Check in and help out a neighbor that you rarely connect with)
  • Attend a spiritual service or gathering of a faith that is not of your own and see what you can appreciate about it