JEFF HARRY'S

POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY PLAYLIST

I believe that play is as important as breathing, sleeping, and love.  It's where so much of our happiness, fulfillment, and creativity comes from. 

JEFF HARRY

Welcome to the Positive Psychology Playlist!  

Inspired by the Flourishing Center's Certified Applied Positive Psychology Program, the goal is to gamify positive psychology modules, so you can incorporate them into your everyday life.  If you'd like to cultivate more of a certain aspect of positive psychology, click on the link below and try one of the play challenges.  Observe what occurs for you through the play.  Share your results with the Rediscover Your Play Tribe, tag @jeffharryplays on Instagram or Twitter.

 

It promises to be a fun, adventurous, and fulfilling ride.

 

Special Thanks To Louis Alloro and the CAPP.65 Los Angeles Cohort!    

Positivity Psychology

Aspects of Fixed & Growth Mindset


Two Mindsets, Carol S. Dweck Ph.D

  • People with a fixed mindset believe their abilities are established and can’t change much regardless of how hard they try.
  • People with a growth mindset know that they can learn and grow if they invest enough effort.
  • Mindsets become self-fulfilling prophecies. If you think you can improve you will and vice versa
  • Mindsets are learned and can be changed.
Mindset, The New Psychology of Success, Carol S. Dweck Ph.D.




Fixed Vs. Growth Mindset Play Challenges


INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • For one day, observe every time you have a fixed mindset thought and log the ways in which that fixed mindset limits you
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • For one week, Ask your friends to point out places where you are have a fixed mindset and choose one that they will remind you of to work on
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
  • Pick one area where you have a fixed mindset. For one month, challenge yourself to devote time to change your perspective on that area to a growth mindset. Journal about your experience.





CAPP.jpeg

POSITIVITY 

Fixed Vs. Growth Mindset

Aspects of Fixed & Growth Mindset


Two Mindsets, Carol S. Dweck Ph.D

  • People with a fixed mindset believe their abilities are established and can’t change much regardless of how hard they try.
  • People with a growth mindset know that they can learn and grow if they invest enough effort.
  • Mindsets become self-fulfilling prophecies. If you think you can improve you will and vice versa
  • Mindsets are learned and can be changed.
Mindset, The New Psychology of Success, Carol S. Dweck Ph.D.




Fixed Vs. Growth Mindset Play Challenges


INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • For one day, observe every time you have a fixed mindset thought and log the ways in which that fixed mindset limits you
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • For one week, Ask your friends to point out places where you are have a fixed mindset and choose one that they will remind you of to work on
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
  • Pick one area where you have a fixed mindset. For one month, challenge yourself to devote time to change your perspective on that area to a growth mindset. Journal about your experience.





Choice Map

Aspects of Love


Definition of Love:

  • As a Noun (n):
    • a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person
    • a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend
    • sexual passion or desire
    • a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart
    • used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like):
    • Would you like to see a movie, love?
  • As a Verb (v):
    • to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her
    • to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person)
    • to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music
    • to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight
    • to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover
What Happens When You Fall in Love ( Bartels & Zeki, 2000, cited in Peterson, 2007)
  • Neuroimaging scans of individuals who describe themselves as madly in love resemble that of cocaine addicts.
  • Pleasure centers are activated when viewing pictures of their loved one, compared to pictures of a friend or a neutral control.
Blinded by Love
  • “When mothers look at pictures of their own children, brain regions responsible for negative emotions and social comparison are deactivated” ( Bartels & Zeki, 2004, cited in Peterson, 2007)
  • (Until they become teens or the honeymoon phase is over)
Passionate vs. Compassionate Love
  • Passionate love brings people together
  • Compassionate love keeps people together
  • Passionate love is a chemically induced state that is not meant to last otherwise you wouldn’t be able to function
  • “Passionate love occurs at the beginning of an affair and is marked by extreme absorption and dramatic mood swings, from ecstasy to anguish.
  • Compassionate love is the unshakable affection shared by two people whose lives have become intertwined” (Peterson, 2007 p. 267)
Passion’s Shelf Life
  • Passion is subject to Hedonic Adaptation
  • We’re wired for variety
Typologies of liking, loving and more
  • Virtuous Love:
  • Affiliation:
    • We have a biological need for affiliation
    • A research study with laboratory rats showed that the mere physical presence of another rat reduced the physiological effects of stress. A non-stressed rat was most beneficial. (Kiyokawa et al. 2004)
    • Affiliation refers to “simply wanting to be associated with someone” (Peterson, 2007 p. 264)
    • ‘Misery loves company’
    • Same is true for people
    • Schachter (1959) found that students who were told they were expecting to be shocked as part of the experiment preferred to be in the presence of a stranger, compared to control.
  • Liking vs. Loving “I love you. But I don’t like you right now!”
  • In liking, people have a positive attitude toward each other.
    • 6 factors predispose people to liking someone (Peterson, 2007, p.265):
      • Proximity - other things being equal, we like those who live close to us
      • Similarity - other things being equal, we like those whose personality traits, values and beliefs are similar to ours
      • Complementarity of needs - other things being equal, we like those who satisfy our needs
      • High ability - other things being equal, we like those who are competent
      • Attractiveness - other things being equal, we like those who are physically attractive or otherwise pleasing
      • Reciprocity - other things being equal, we like those who like us




Love Challenges


In order to find our flow, we must create the conditions for a flow state to occur. INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS & LOVED ONES
  • Determine their Love Language and express your love to them through this language for one week
    • Ask them at the end of the week, do they feel any different towards you?
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
  • For one week, the way you give your love to your closest friends and family, choose to do the same for yourself
    • Identify ways in which you'd appreciate love and self-compassion and go all in loving yourself
  • Express your love freely to people that you are close to, but you have never said "I Love You Too."
    • See how that feels in your body when you do this





Luck

Press Your Luck


The Luck Factor, Richard Wiseman Lucky or unlucky people are responsible for much of their fortune through their thoughts and behaviors. 4 Basic Principles of Lucky People

  • They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities
  • Make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition
  • Create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations
  • Adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good




Luck Play Challenges


INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • For a 48-hour period, log every good experience that happens to you, regardless of whether it is big or small
  • Each time, something good happens, ask yourself with curoisity: How Can It Get Any Better Than this?
  • Journal about the result
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • Gather a group of your friends and prime each other by saying that you will have a lucky outing
  • Have the group point out and celebrate every time some unexpected positive action occurs (whether it is big or small) and be curious about where that leads
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE





Find Your Inner Genius

Through Play

ENGAGEMENT

Savor

Aspects of Fixed & Growth Mindset


Two Mindsets, Carol S. Dweck Ph.D

  • People with a fixed mindset believe their abilities are established and can’t change much regardless of how hard they try.
  • People with a growth mindset know that they can learn and grow if they invest enough effort.
  • Mindsets become self-fulfilling prophecies. If you think you can improve you will and vice versa
  • Mindsets are learned and can be changed.
Mindset, The New Psychology of Success, Carol S. Dweck Ph.D.




Fixed Vs. Growth Mindset Play Challenges


INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • For one day, observe every time you have a fixed mindset thought and log the ways in which that fixed mindset limits you
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • For one week, Ask your friends to point out places where you are have a fixed mindset and choose one that they will remind you of to work on
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
  • Pick one area where you have a fixed mindset. For one month, challenge yourself to devote time to change your perspective on that area to a growth mindset. Journal about your experience.





Flow

Aspects of Fixed & Growth Mindset


Two Mindsets, Carol S. Dweck Ph.D

  • People with a fixed mindset believe their abilities are established and can’t change much regardless of how hard they try.
  • People with a growth mindset know that they can learn and grow if they invest enough effort.
  • Mindsets become self-fulfilling prophecies. If you think you can improve you will and vice versa
  • Mindsets are learned and can be changed.
Mindset, The New Psychology of Success, Carol S. Dweck Ph.D.




Fixed Vs. Growth Mindset Play Challenges


INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • For one day, observe every time you have a fixed mindset thought and log the ways in which that fixed mindset limits you
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • For one week, Ask your friends to point out places where you are have a fixed mindset and choose one that they will remind you of to work on
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
  • Pick one area where you have a fixed mindset. For one month, challenge yourself to devote time to change your perspective on that area to a growth mindset. Journal about your experience.





RELATIONSHIPS

Love

Aspects of Love


Definition of Love:

  • As a Noun (n):
    • a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person
    • a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend
    • sexual passion or desire
    • a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart
    • used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like):
    • Would you like to see a movie, love?
  • As a Verb (v):
    • to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her
    • to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person)
    • to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music
    • to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight
    • to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover
What Happens When You Fall in Love ( Bartels & Zeki, 2000, cited in Peterson, 2007)
  • Neuroimaging scans of individuals who describe themselves as madly in love resemble that of cocaine addicts.
  • Pleasure centers are activated when viewing pictures of their loved one, compared to pictures of a friend or a neutral control.
Blinded by Love
  • “When mothers look at pictures of their own children, brain regions responsible for negative emotions and social comparison are deactivated” ( Bartels & Zeki, 2004, cited in Peterson, 2007)
  • (Until they become teens or the honeymoon phase is over)
Passionate vs. Compassionate Love
  • Passionate love brings people together
  • Compassionate love keeps people together
  • Passionate love is a chemically induced state that is not meant to last otherwise you wouldn’t be able to function
  • “Passionate love occurs at the beginning of an affair and is marked by extreme absorption and dramatic mood swings, from ecstasy to anguish.
  • Compassionate love is the unshakable affection shared by two people whose lives have become intertwined” (Peterson, 2007 p. 267)
Passion’s Shelf Life
  • Passion is subject to Hedonic Adaptation
  • We’re wired for variety
Typologies of liking, loving and more
  • Virtuous Love:
  • Affiliation:
    • We have a biological need for affiliation
    • A research study with laboratory rats showed that the mere physical presence of another rat reduced the physiological effects of stress. A non-stressed rat was most beneficial. (Kiyokawa et al. 2004)
    • Affiliation refers to “simply wanting to be associated with someone” (Peterson, 2007 p. 264)
    • ‘Misery loves company’
    • Same is true for people
    • Schachter (1959) found that students who were told they were expecting to be shocked as part of the experiment preferred to be in the presence of a stranger, compared to control.
  • Liking vs. Loving “I love you. But I don’t like you right now!”
  • In liking, people have a positive attitude toward each other.
    • 6 factors predispose people to liking someone (Peterson, 2007, p.265):
      • Proximity - other things being equal, we like those who live close to us
      • Similarity - other things being equal, we like those whose personality traits, values and beliefs are similar to ours
      • Complementarity of needs - other things being equal, we like those who satisfy our needs
      • High ability - other things being equal, we like those who are competent
      • Attractiveness - other things being equal, we like those who are physically attractive or otherwise pleasing
      • Reciprocity - other things being equal, we like those who like us




Love Challenges


In order to find our flow, we must create the conditions for a flow state to occur. INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS & LOVED ONES
  • Determine their Love Language and express your love to them through this language for one week
    • Ask them at the end of the week, do they feel any different towards you?
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
  • For one week, the way you give your love to your closest friends and family, choose to do the same for yourself
    • Identify ways in which you'd appreciate love and self-compassion and go all in loving yourself
  • Express your love freely to people that you are close to, but you have never said "I Love You Too."
    • See how that feels in your body when you do this





MEANING

Purpose

Press Your Luck


The Luck Factor, Richard Wiseman Lucky or unlucky people are responsible for much of their fortune through their thoughts and behaviors. 4 Basic Principles of Lucky People

  • They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities
  • Make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition
  • Create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations
  • Adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good




Luck Play Challenges


INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • For a 48-hour period, log every good experience that happens to you, regardless of whether it is big or small
  • Each time, something good happens, ask yourself with curoisity: How Can It Get Any Better Than this?
  • Journal about the result
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • Gather a group of your friends and prime each other by saying that you will have a lucky outing
  • Have the group point out and celebrate every time some unexpected positive action occurs (whether it is big or small) and be curious about where that leads
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE





ACHIEVEMENT

Visualization

Press Your Luck


The Luck Factor, Richard Wiseman Lucky or unlucky people are responsible for much of their fortune through their thoughts and behaviors. 4 Basic Principles of Lucky People

  • They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities
  • Make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition
  • Create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations
  • Adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good




Luck Play Challenges


INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • For a 48-hour period, log every good experience that happens to you, regardless of whether it is big or small
  • Each time, something good happens, ask yourself with curoisity: How Can It Get Any Better Than this?
  • Journal about the result
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • Gather a group of your friends and prime each other by saying that you will have a lucky outing
  • Have the group point out and celebrate every time some unexpected positive action occurs (whether it is big or small) and be curious about where that leads
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE





VITALITY

Physical Activity

Benefits of Physical Activity


Strong evidence shows more active persons have lower rates of:

  • All-cause mortality
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Coronary heart
  • Metabolic syndrome
  • Stroke disease
  • High blood pressure
  • Breast cancer
  • Colon cancer
  • Depression
Strong evidence shows more active persons have lower rates of:
  • Higher level of cardiorespiratory & muscular fitness
  • Healthier body mass & composition
  • Enhanced bone health
  • Better sleep
  • Quality of life
Recommendations for Youth
  • 1 hour (60 minutes) or more of daily physical activity that is at least moderate
  • Most of the 1 or more hours a day should be either moderate- or vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity
  • Do vigorous-intensity physical activity at least 3 days a week (include muscle-strengthen- ing & bone-strengthening)
  • Encourage participation in physical activities that are age appropriate, enjoyable, and offer variety for 30 to 60 minutes a day
  • Moderate to vigorous intensity physical activity 5 or more days of the week
  • At 2.5 hours per week of moderate to vigorous intensity activity, lower risk is consistently observed of:
    • All-cause mortality
    • Coronary heart disease
    • Stroke
    • Hypertension
    • Type 2 diabetes
  • At 3-5 hours per week of moderate to vigorous intensity activity, lower risk is consistently observed of:
    • Significantly lower rates of colon cancer
    • Significantly lower rates of breast cancer
    • Prevention of unhealthy weight gain
    • Prevention of significant weight loss.
Some is better than none!
  • 1hour/ week moderate-intensity physical activity is associated with lower risk of all-cause mortality and the incidence of coronary heart disease
  • Studies are much less consistent about nature and magnitude of benefits at this level
  • Inverse relation between the dose of activity and rate of disease
  • Nothing suggests a threshold below which there are no benefits
Mind-Set Matters: Exercise and The Placebo Effect




Physical Activity Play Challenges


INDIVIDUAL PLAY CHALLENGE

  • For an entire day, log all the ways in which you were active and see how you feel at the end of the day in comparison to a standard day
PLAY CHALLENGE WITH FRIENDS
  • For any gathering you are having with friends for a week, choose an active gathering (I.e. walking, running, taking a class, playing catch, trampolining, etc.)
  • Were you able to connect with your friend more closely and in what ways?
OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE PLAY CHALLENGE
  • Choose one ambitious physical activity that scares you a little to do that you will do this year (I.e. Half Marathon, Mud Run, Obstacle Course, Skiing a Black Diamond, etc.)
  • Pick an activity where you may need to build yourself up or train for it
  • After completing this play challenge, do you see a different in what you now are open to trying





VIA Strengths

What are VIA Character Strengths


Via Character Strengths "Every individual possesses all 24 character strengths in different degrees, giving each person a unique character profile." List of Via Character Strengths From: http://www.viacharacter.org/www/Character-Strengths Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence

  • You notice and enjoy beauty in many places (nature, art, music, etc.).
  • You notice and enjoy watching people who are talented or very skilled at what they do.
Integrity
  • You speak the truth.
  • You allow others to see the “real you”.
  • You are true to yourself.
  • You take responsibility for what you do and say.
Bravery
  • You do not avoid challenges or difficult situations.
  • You speak up for what you think is right, even if others disagree with you.
Creativity
  • You think of new and original ways of doing things.
Curiosity
  • You are interested in many things.
  • You like to explore and discover new things.
Fairness
  • You give everyone a fair chance.
  • You treat others in a fair and just way.
Forgiveness/Mercy
  • You forgive those who have done wrong.
  • You give people a second chance.
  • You do not seek revenge against those who have wronged you.
Gratitude
  • You notice and appreciate the good things that happen.
  • You take the time to express thanks to those you who do nice things for you.
Hope
  • You expect good things to happen in the future. You work to make good things happen.
Humor
  • You like to laugh and make jokes.
  • You like to bring a smile to people’s faces. You see humour in many situations.
Kindness
  • You enjoy doing favours and helping others. You enjoy taking care of other people.
Leadership
  • You like to work with others and help them to get things done. You like to organize group activities and see that they happen.
Love
  • You like being close to other people. You like to give love to others.
  • You like receiving love from others.
Love of Learning
  • You enjoy learning new information. You enjoy learning how to do things.
Modestly/Humility
  • You do not like to draw attention to yourself.
  • You let your accomplishments speak for themselves (rather than pointing them out). You do not view yourself as better than others.
Open Mindedness
  • You like to think things through before making a decision.
  • You look at all “sides” of a situation.
  • You are able to change your mind (if there is a good reason to do so). You listen to other people’s ideas.
Perspective
  • You are able to give other people good advice. You are able to see the “big picture”.
Persistence
  • You finish what you start.
  • You find ways to overcome obstacles. You enjoy completing tasks.
Prudence
  • You are careful in making decisions.
  • You avoid taking unnecessary risks.
  • You avoid doing or saying things that you later regret.
Spirituality
  • You believe that you are part of a larger plan or purpose.
  • You believe that your life has meaning/purpose.
  • Your beliefs about life’s meaning/purpose give you comfort and help to guide your actions.
Self-Control
  • You avoid “overdoing” things (losing your temper, eating too much, etc.).
  • You are able to keep things balanced in your life.
Social Intelligence
  • You know what to do to get along with different groups of people.
  • You know what makes other people “tick”; you know why they do what they do. You are aware of other people’s thoughts and feelings.
Teamwork
  • You work well as a member of a group or team.
  • You always do your share of the work in a team or group. You are loyal to the groups or teams to which you belong.
Zest
  • You do what you do with energy and excitement. You view life as an adventure.




VIA Character Strength Play Challenges


Take The VIA Character Strengths Survey Once you identify what your VIA Character Strengths are, determine if you'd like to focus more on your strengths or on areas of improvement. Choose a play challenges for a character strength you want to focus on. There is currently on one play challenge per character strength. More nuanced play challenges will be added in the future for this section. 1) Creativity

  • If you are trying to tackle a problem, instead of talking it out or making a pro and con list, draw the solution. Sketch out the solution.
Group Setting
  • If you want to spark creativity, choose a challenge your working with and come up with 7 different solutions to the problem from the absurd to the mundane
  • Create something by hand that you will give as a gift to someone. You can choose the medium.
    • Make it in finite amount of time and don’t judge yourself throughout it.
2) Curiosity
  • Next time you are outside at a restaurant or in a public setting, put away your phone when you get bored and instead, take some time to simply observe what is happening around you.
  • Take 5 minutes to notice the surroundings, the people, and see how that makes you feel.
  • Go a day simply by asking question and try to avoid making statement.
    • Try to learn as much about people in a given day and measure it against your regular day.
3) Judgment (critical thinking)
  • Gather your friends together and have a viewing party of a show that may disagree with you.
    • The goal will be to find where there is common ground.
  • Go one step further and invite people of different political persuasions together and see if you can find more in common with each other than what separates you.
  • Write down all the judgments you have on people, including yourself in a given day.
    • Watch if those critiques change as you noticed more of them.
4) Love of learning
  • Choose to learn one new skill in 30 days and see how far it takes you
  • If you have a love of a specific subject, ask your friends who they know is an expert in that field and meet with that person.
    • Learn as much as you can from them in one setting and take their suggestions on how to learn more.
5) Perspective (wisdom)
  • Pick a hero of yours and for that day, make decisions the way you think they would
  • Step into someone else’s shoes.
    • Find a friend or a colleague who is willing to have you shadow them for a certain amount of hours and they explain what they experience and see in a given day.
6) Bravery (courage)
  • Take on Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule and when you are scared to do something that you also really want to do (I.e. Hop on a dance floor, get on stage, speak to someone that you are intimidated by), countdown from 5 seconds and get up and do it
  • Make a list of your biggest the goals that most excite and scare you.
    • Share them with a friend and pick one that you’d like to work on.
7) Perseverance
  • Pick a challenge that you have failed at in the past and attempt it again and fail.
    • Continue to try and fail and just notice how many times you are willing to try again and again.
  • List all of the times that you have persevered, find the pattern, and choose a project that you want to take on that is similar to what you’ve accomplished in the past.
8) Honesty
  • Write down thoughts about people that you have been wanting to say, but have been holding back from saying for a really long time.
    • Pick two people to share those thoughts with.
  • Share with a friend something about yourself that barely anyone knows that you might have some embarrassment around.
    • See how it feels when you are able to let this go.
9) Zest
  • One Risk Away
    • Do something ridiculous that both excites you and makes you a little nervous. 20 seconds of insane courage
  • Play With What You Love
    • Gather your closest friends together or just hop on a call with one of them and ask them:
      • When have you seen me most happy?
      • When was the last time you saw me play?
    • From those answers, figure out with them, how you can cultivate similar adventures now
  • Find Your Zesty Tribe
    • Surround yourself with people that are also pursuing their zest
    • Attend classes, retreats, conferences, gatherings that are of people that have similar core values and see where these adventures take you
  • Make Mundane Tasks Zesty
    • Take a boring task and see if you can bring some fun to it. Examples:
      • Washing Dishes - See how many dishes you can wash well with as little water as possible
      • Walking - On a regular walk you do, see if you can observe anything different about this adventure. See if you can discover something new
      • Social Interaction - Try to see if you can find one interesting fact about the person you are talking to or if that seems too challenging, try to incorporate movie lines into conversation
      • Work Email - In a 5 minute challenge, see how many emails you can archive that don’t need your response so your inbox seems less daunting
10) Love
  • Call or text someone that you really appreciate and love that you have told in a while and see how that feels.
  • Write a letter of appreciation to yourself and what you like about yourself.
    • If you want, give the letter to a friend to mail back to you within 3 - 6 months, when you really need to read it.
  • Write a letter of appreciation to someone you care about.
    • See how it feels to simply write the letter.
11) Kindness
  • Write down all the kind thoughts you have about yourself in a given day.
    • If you don’t have any, start giving yourself some and see how your day changes
  • Choose to do a number of kind things in a given day (pay parking meters, open doors, give a compliment),
    • Count the number of things, and measure how you feel at the end of the day
12) Social intelligence:
  • Challenge yourself to have conversations with 3 - 5 new people in a given day
    • Spark a conversation with a stranger, speak to a colleague or a friend that you have not connected with in quite some time, reach out to someone who typically intimidates you when you speak to them and see if you can vibrant, engaging conversation
  • During the day, find someone who really seems like they need a connection and reach out
    • Observe what effect it has on you and the individual you connected with
  • For a conversation that you have been avoiding, choose to have a Crucial Conversation with a person, adopting some of the techniques from the Crucial Conversation Method, popularized by the book, Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High
13) Teamwork
  • Take the time to thank a team for all their hard work on a recent project.
    • If you could give them a bigger shout out to their superior, even better.
  • If you have a team, have them go around and express one thing that they appreciate about the team to start your next meeting.
14) Fairness
  • Look for inequity in your office space and figure out with your staff how to address it
  • Take some time to look at who is being neglected or excluded either in an office setting or with your friends and determine how you can make it right
15) Leadership
  • Give one of your team members an opportunity to step up and take on a leadership role in a project that you usually lead
  • Choose to take the lead on a project that is really important to you and ask others to follow
16) Forgiveness
  • Make a list of people that you have a grudge against and why.
  • Choose 2 people on the list that you are willing to forgive and reach out to them.
    • If you cannot get in touch with them anymore of they have passed away, still write a letter forgiving them.
  • Pick something that you have been really feeling guilty about and give yourself permission to forgive yourself.
    • If you need to, write a letter that communicates this.
17) Humility
  • For meetings for an entire day, choose to spend more time listening and talking
    • Do this with a majority of your interactions for a given day and notice how that feels differently
  • Gather a few people that you really trust and ask for honest feedback in what ways you can improve either as a friend or coworker
18) Prudence
  • Before you make a decision that is typically very easy, take one full minute to think about it before you take action
    • Write down your plans for each hour of the remainder of the day, no matter how trivial
19) Self-regulation
  • The next time you feel irritated or nervous today, pause and breathe with the experience for a count of 10 breathes.
  • Monitor all the food and drinks you put in your body.
    • Write it down on a tracking sheet.
20) Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence
  • Think of someone that you admire very much and appreciate with awe all the aspects of that individual that makes them so special
    • If you know that person directly, reach out to them and share how much you appreciate them
  • Think about the last time you really appreciated your environment (I.e. On the beach, in the forest, on a busy street) and go back to that area and sit silently for 30 minutes simply connecting with that space
21) Gratitude
  • At the start of your day, text, call, or email 2 people (I.e. friend, family member, colleague, client, etc.) per day for a week, expressing why you grateful to have them in your life
    • Observe whether you see any difference in how your week is because of this action
22) Hope
  • Think about the last time you were hopeful and something amazing came from it
  • Write down and share what your hopes are for the future for yourself with multiple friends
    • Observe how you feel about the future after sharing your hopes and dreams with others
  • Pick a challenge that you are currently struggling with and identify realisitic, positive thoughts around this challenge that give you hope
23) Humor
  • Try to incorporate your favorite movie lines into your next conversation with someone
  • Find an area where many people are taking themselves way too seriously and choose to do the opposite
  • Spend time identifying the absurd and celebrating it
24) Spirituality
  • If you are spiritual, write down what it is that you appreciate about your faith and practice, and how it provides you meaning and purpose
  • If you attend a Spiritual Service or gathering, take the lesson or message you heard and apply it through action (not simply words) for 24 hours to see what effect it has
    • Example: If the message is "Love Thy Neighbor" then identify how you would actually do this (I.e. Check in and help out a neighbor that you rarely connect with)
  • Attend a spiritual service or gathering of a faith that is not of your own and see what you can appreciate about it