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I Had A Conversation With A Trump Supporter To Try To Find Common Ground...It Lasted 3 Hours

  • Writer: Jeff Harry
    Jeff Harry
  • Feb 9, 2021
  • 4 min read

I recently had a conversation with a well-known YouTuber and Trump Supporter, Dr. Karlyn Borysenko. The goal was to have a civilized conversation, attempt to understand each other, and possibly find common ground. That conversation lasted 3 hours. Here's the proof:

There were quite a few lessons I learned from that discussion that may be relevant to share. Hopefully, they can help you navigate the difficult conversations you are currently having in your life.


Get outside your echo chamber and attempt to have civilized, respectful conversations with people that disagree with you.


#1. Have a conversation with someone you disagree with, where you ask them curious questions

  • Don't try to debate them or tell them they're wrong, but be curious and actively listen to understand




#2. When having conversations, discern whether you are trying to be right or trying to understand, as you cannot do both I learned this from my friend Eric Bailey.


#3. Acknowledge other people's experiences even if they disagree with yours

  • One of the most hurtful things you can do is deny someone's else experiences.

  • Real conversations can only happen when you acknowledge each other's experiences.

When you do this, you are communicating that you see each other for who they are, you see each other's humanity, and that is where the healing can begin.

#4. Do not conflate all people that disagree with you into a single demographic. Try to see the individual as an individual instead of grouping them with everyone else to fit your narrative.

  • From the 3-hour discussion, I learned that I need to be more discerning between a centrist Trump Supporter and a QAnon conspiracy theorist.

They may be at the same rally, but that doesn't mean they all agree on the same policies and direction of their movement or even have the same values.

  • You could say the same thing about a group of people at a BLM protest, as some people may identify themselves as staunch democrats. In contrast, others subscribe to more socialist democratic ideals that Bernie and AOC represent like me.

  • By seeing the person as an individual, you then aren't making assumptions that they believe certain stances that they never said they agreed with

    • Example: The Trump Supporter I spoke with disagrees with the people that carry Confederate and Nazi flags around or sling antisemitic and racist insults at people. She believes that is a loud, small fringe then gets media coverage due to their extreme points of view.

      • She knows many Trump supporters that don't agree with those racist ideologies.

      • They feel even more ostracized when they are called racists and grouped with these extremists



#5. Recognize when you are describing yourself as the hero in your own story and whether the people you have painted as the villains are really "evil" or have a different point of view

  • We have to be willing to call ourselves out on our BS when we demonize a whole group of people because it fits our narrative where we can be right, and they can be considered ignorant and wrong.


#6. If that person you disagree with triggers you too much for you to have that conversation, then maybe you are not ready, so don't force it

  • The same goes for having a conversation with someone else with drastically different political beliefs than you.

  • They may not be ready to have the conversation you are prepared to have, so you must be patient.

  • These conversations are especially true with family members where you want to have political debates during the holidays, yet those are the least opportune times to have them.


How Can You Have More Of These Conversations?

  • Suppose you don't know anyone that you drastically disagree with and want to have a civilized conversation with someone with a different political affiliation. There are organizations like Braver Angels that facilitate respectful discussions between the left and right.

  • You can also put out on social media that you are looking for someone representing a different point of view and seeing who volunteers.

Recognize that these conversations are not easy. They take a great deal of patience and understanding. You have to be open to having your mind change. You have to be open to being wrong. Most importantly, you have to remember that when the other person disagrees with you, they are not attacking you or denying your experience. If each of us can attempt to do these experiments, step out of our left/right bubbles, and be uncomfortable, maybe we can start to have a dialog with one another. Perhaps we can begin to rebuild some trust and respect that has been lost over the past four years, if not longer.

 
 
 

15 Comments



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Mar 05

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unknownytube
Mar 05

Çikolata, dünya genelinde en çok sevilen tatlılardan biridir ve binlerce yıl öncesine dayanan bir geçmişe sahiptir. İlk olarak Orta Amerika'da, özellikle Aztekler ve Mayalar tarafından keşfedilen kakao, çikolatanın temel bileşenidir. Kakao çekirdekleri, ilk başta içecek olarak tüketilirken zamanla farklı yöntemlerle işlenerek katı çikolatalara dönüşmüştür. Bugün, çikolata tatlıları, atıştırmalıklar ve çeşitli tatlılar içinde yaygın bir şekilde kullanılmaktadır.

Çikolatanın tarihçesi, onu sadece lezzetli bir yiyecek olmanın ötesine taşıyan bir anlam taşır. Aztekler, çikolatayı değerli bir madde olarak kabul ederdi ve yalnızca soyluların ve tanrıların bu içeceği tüketmesine izin verilirdi. Aynı zamanda çikolata, dini ritüellerde de önemli bir yere sahipti. 16. yüzyılda çikolata, Avrupalılara tanıtıldığında, şekerle tatlandırılarak daha tatlı bir form aldı ve zamanla batı dünyasında da popülerleşti.

 

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unknownytube
Mar 05

Çikolata, dünya çapında sevilen, tatlı ve lezzetli bir gıda maddesidir. Kakao çekirdeklerinden üretilen bu muazzam tat, yüzyıllardır insanları cezbetmiştir. Çikolatanın tarihçesi, eski uygarlıklara kadar uzanır. MÖ 2000 yıllarında Orta Amerika'da yaşayan Mayalar, kakao çekirdeklerini hem içecek olarak kullanmış hem de bir tür ödeme aracı olarak değerlendirmiştir. O zamanlar, çikolata acı bir içecek olarak tüketiliyordu. Zamanla, Avrupa'ya yayılmasıyla birlikte şeker eklenerek tatlandırıldı ve bugün bildiğimiz halini aldı.

Çikolatanın üretimi oldukça uzun ve karmaşık bir süreçtir. Kakao, tropikal iklimde yetişen bir bitki olan kakao ağacının meyvesinden elde edilir. Meyve, olgunlaştığında içindeki çekirdekler çıkarılır ve fermente edilip kurutulur. Bu çekirdekler, işlenip öğütülerek kakao likörü, kakao yağı ve kakao tozu gibi bileşenlere ayrılır. Bu bileşenler, çikolata üretiminde temel malzemeleri oluşturur. Çikolatanın lezzeti, kullanılan kakao…

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unknownytube
Mar 05

Çikolata, dünya çapında büyük bir popülariteye sahip olan, tatlı ve doyurucu bir yiyecektir. Kakao çekirdeklerinden elde edilen bu lezzetli gıda, tarih boyunca farklı kültürlerde farklı şekillerde tüketilmiştir. İlk olarak Meksika ve Orta Amerika'nın yerli halkları tarafından keşfedilen çikolata, başlangıçta acı bir içecek olarak hazırlanıyordu. Aztekler ve Mayalar, çikolatayı yalnızca bir içecek olarak değil, aynı zamanda dini ritüellerde ve ticarette de kullanıyorlardı. Ancak zamanla çikolatanın tatlılaştırılması ve farklı şekillerde tüketilmesiyle bugünkü haline gelmiştir.

Çikolatanın ana bileşeni kakao, tropikal iklimlerde yetişen bir bitkidir. Kakao çekirdekleri, olgunlaşmış meyvelerden toplanarak işlenir. Bu çekirdekler, çikolatanın lezzetinin temel kaynağıdır. Kakao, içeriğinde yüksek miktarda antioksidan ve mineraller bulundurur. Çikolata üretim sürecinde, kakao çekirdeklerinin kavrulup öğütülmesiyle kakao likörü, yağ ve tozu elde edilir. Kakao oranı yüksek olan çikolatalar,…

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